I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize