elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
