he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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