I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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