girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
