the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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