This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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