No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
