Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
