I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
