yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
