YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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