Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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