i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize