I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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