I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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