There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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