in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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