So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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