You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
