By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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