She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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