The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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