Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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