Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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