I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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