OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
