You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
