I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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