i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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