I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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