guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
