My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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