My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
