So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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