i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
