Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
