No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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