Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
