It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
