so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
