guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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