I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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