the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Small penises have feelings too.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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