Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
