Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
