Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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