But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
