It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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