I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
