when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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