shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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