I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
