I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
