I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
